Com-e-dy n. : Popular entertainment composed of jokes, satire, or humorous performance.
Comedy
Comedy I never got a hole in one -- but I did hit a guy, and that's way more satisfying. You're supposed to yell 'Fore,' but I was too busy mumbling 'There ain't no way that's gonna hit him. - Mitch Hedberg
Comedy One time, I was riding the escalator and I tripped. I fell down the stairs for an hour and a half. -Demetri Martin
Comedy I'm trying to scare up a piece of ass as my Dad would say. Piece of ass is always a strange thing to hear guys call a woman. Piece of ass? Piece of ass sounds like something an FBI agent finds in a field. - Hal Sparks
Comedy I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. - Steven Wright
Comedy When you have a fat friend there are no see-saws, only catapults. - Demetri Martin
Comedy If God had intended us not to masturbate he would've made our arms shorter. -George Carlin
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Comedy Yeah, I know, some people are against drunk driving, and I call those people "The Cops." But you know, sometimes, you've just got no choice; those kids gotta get to school! -Dave Attell
Comedy Every group of brothers should have at least one white guy in it. Im serious for safety, cuz when the shit goes down someone is gonna need to talk to the police. - Dave Chappelle
Comedy I was walking down town and the drunk tank stopped picked me up. I was like uh oh. I said wait a minute fellas there's been a miss understanding. I'm not drunk I have cerebral palsy. They where like thats a pretty big word for a drunk ass. I was in there
Comedy "In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker." - Woody Allen
Comedy Every town has the same two malls: the one white people go to and the one white people used to go to. - Chris Rock
Comedy You know when they have a fishing show on TV? They catch the fish and then let it go. They don't want to eat the fish, they just want to make it late for something. Where were you?" "I got caught!" "I don't believe you", let me see the inside of your lip.
Comedy You ever noticed how people who believe in Creationism look really unevolved? You ever noticed that? Eyes real close together, eyebrow ridges, big furry hands and feet. "I believe God created me in one day" Yeah, looks liked He rushed it. - Bill Hicks
